The words in your post, "I really try never to judge people" are disingenuous. I expect to hear "Some of my best friends are (fill in the blank)..." next.
You also have it wrong with your speculation on female-to-male transsexuals -- they are those in the lesbian community that see them as traitors.
I don't know how to take your comment about the over-6-foot-tall transwoman, but it sure sounds like a condemnation following your comment "not telling someone you actually used to be a man is deplorable" At what point do I tell my potential intimate partners?
The below is a canned textfile that neatly sums up the view from my shoes, provides a little background, and asks some other questions.
The favour of your reply is requested;
May I interject a real life situation. I’d like to hear your guidance on this.
My mother was given a drug to take to lessen the chance of miscarriage and promote healthy babies — that’s what the doctor told her. The drug is Diethylstilbestrol, or DES. In male fetuses, it feminizes the brains of one in five of us ‘DES sons’.
I finally came to terms with this, and realized my choice was transition or die. So, I’m now a male-to-female transsexual who’s had ‘the operation.’ I’ve changed all my legal paperwork and although I still have a male body with XY chromosomes, it has been retrofitted to approximate female anatomy, which is good because if I ever end up in an accident, there will be no ’surprise’ for the first responders.
I ‘pass’ very well, thank you. Only rarely do strangers figure out I was not born this way. Most people have to be told, by me, or, more often, by someone else who just has to ‘drop the bomb.’
All my paperwork has been changed. Legally, I'm female. But I have to find an OB/GYN who can check my prostate during my yearly pelvic exam (yearly mammograms don't need that level of disclosure.)
So my question to you is — knowing what you know now about me, and assuming for the moment you get absolute power to label me and make determinations on where I can and can't go —
-Do I marry a man? Or do I marry a woman? If I like guys, am I gay? If I like women, am I lesbian?
-Which restroom and changing facility do you feel I, a male-to-female transsexual, should use when in public spaces?
I eagerly await your responses;
ADDENDUM: The blogger turned on moderation, so I lost a rejoinder to her reply to my comment. That'll teach me to be more careful.